trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
