scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
