where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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