if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize