Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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