I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
