tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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