You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
