Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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