So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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