Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
