I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
