Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
