He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
