This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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