Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Randomize
