I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
