I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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