I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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