We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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