I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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