It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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