That's intense
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
