Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize