i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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