My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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