Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
