i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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