His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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