just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
