I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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