awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize