this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
that's an acceptable place to lick
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
