hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have aggressive nipples.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
