i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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