I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize