Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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