I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
