Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
