the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
