we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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