i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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