I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
