Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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