That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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