Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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