I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize