The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
