I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
