Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
