i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
