so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize