remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
