and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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