hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
