You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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