I wanna bring you to show and tell
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
