She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize